Things I’ve learned this year… (2018 edition)

Man, 2018. This year was exactly what I needed. This year was full of growth, learning, love, and strength. This year had its ups, and it had its downs. Some of those ups were just ok; some of those ups were amazing. Some of those downs were just a little down, and some of those downs were downright heartbreaking. But in the end, this year left me better than I was before. And if there’s one, steadfast rule when it comes to anything, ever, it’s this: whatever you go through, whatever you do, whatever happens–it should leave you better than you were before.

Here are some things I learned this year (And here are the things I learned last year, in 2017):

  • Trust yourself.
  • Don’t feel bad about putting yourself first. If you won’t do it, who will?
  •  Give exactly zero fucks about what people think of you. They’ll think it whether you care or not. What they think says more about them than it does about you. And you don’t need their approval.  
  • It’s ok to trust someone, just not with everything.
  • You are your own best friend.
  • Learn to like being alone. It’s liberating.
  • “Talent” is just another way of saying “hard work.” “Opportunity” is also just another way of saying “hard work.”
  • You don’t need to be born with anything. What does “born with it” even mean? If you want to do something, you can do it. Anything can be learned and mastered if you put in the time and effort.
  • Hard work is better than natural talent.
  • In a world that caters to people who are ordinary, be extraordinary.
  • Go against the grain and dare to stay true to yourself and your dreams.
  • Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. And you don’t need easy; you just need possible.
  • Nothing worth having ever comes easy.
  • Be prepared and willing to make sacrifices in order to have the life you truly want. Sacrifices are part of the deal, but it is always worth it in the end.
  • Do whatever it takes. You will get there.
  • Know what you want.
  • Always have the big picture in mind. Use that to guide your decisions.
  • Don’t ever give up your dreams for anyone. It’s not worth it.
  • The right people won’t make you choose between them and your dreams. The right people won’t make your life more difficult, sad, or lonely.
  • The right people also won’t make you wonder if they really care about you. Because you’ll know.
  • When in doubt, choose dignity. If someone cares, they’ll reach out without you having to ask.
  • You don’t owe anybody a second chance. Or a third chance.
  • Be picky. Surround yourself with people that already know how to be good friends, text back, and be decent human beings. You don’t have time to teach someone how to act. And it’s not your problem if they don’t know how.
  • Being “intimidated by you” is a shitty excuse for inaction. It’s a shitty excuse for not putting oneself out there. It’s a shitty excuse disguised as a compliment, designed to deflect from said person’s own shittiness. If someone says they’re intimidated by you, and that’s why they never said anything to you, or never tried to get to know you, or never tried to make the next move—how do you expect this person to respond when faced with any kind of difficult situation? Being intimidated doesn’t change anything and it sure as hell doesn’t excuse anything. You want to surround yourself with people who have courage, who can take action in spite of their fears. Thank you, next.
  • There are worse things to be than a “bitch.” And usually being labeled a bitch is just a reflection on the person who says you are one. Just do you, and don’t apologize for it.
  • The small things add up.
  • Anything is possible. Only you can write your story. And you can write whatever you want.
  • Above all else, love yourself unconditionally.

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